Small Intimate Weddings

During April I have been asked to conduct four small intimate, and on two occasions, family-only weddings. This is unusual for me because most of the weddings I do are large formal ceremonies but I have to admit, I do like the smaller ones too.

Frequently a central part of the ceremony is acknowledging the couples’ children from prior marriages and finding meaningful ways to let them know how important they are to this new marriage. Often we acknowledge the guests and the role they have played in the lives of the bride and groom and then we ask them to publicly express their love and support. I like that we can give the guests a role in the ceremony rather than having them sit or stand passively just watching what is taking place.

These ceremonies are definitely more intimate and give us the opportunity to be creative in ways that are difficult in large formal weddings. So if you are a couple leaning toward a smaller wedding go for it, you can make them very personal and special.

Making Your Wedding Green

I know that it’s terribly trendy but I have to admit that I really like the growing popularity of all things green. Several years ago my wife and I were in South Africa and they had just banned plastic grocery bags. We thought that was terrific and when we came back home we started bringing our own bags, including one that we bought in SA, to the store to carry home our groceries.

I just read a blog that Clair Goodman, a colleague of mine in Charlottesville, VA posted on her blog about green wedding resources. If you are interested in a greener wedding see what she has to say. You will also find a multitude of other helpful ideas in her Blog

Fears about what the Officiant will say in the ceremony

Every once in a while when I am talking to a bride and groom about conducting their wedding they tell me a horror story about attending a wedding where an Officiant started making off-the-wall comments that were embarrassing to everyone present. Recently a couple told me that after looking at another local Officiant’s website they ruled him out because based on how he describe himself, they were scared he would turn their ceremony into an opportunity for him to perform. Several years ago, in a review of my services posted on a wedding blog a bride wrote that the groom, “was worried that he'd [she was referring to me] start going into some prayer we hadn't agreed on, but he didn't. I got many compliments about Bruce and how nice the ceremony was.”

My conclusion is that even though couples don’t tell me directly, they have fears about what I am really going to say during their wedding. That is perfectly understandable because they have opportunities to taste the food their caterer will prepare, hear the music played by their DJ or musicians, see photos taken by their photographer and see how their hair stylist will do the bride’s hair for her wedding. How will they know exactly what I will say during their wedding?

I am not alone in doing this, but the way I address this fear is by asking every couple to select from my planning booklet exactly what they want said in their wedding. At times they have very specific things they want said, for instance that the wedding is taking place where they met or in one instance a couple who loved animals changed a line in a prayer that said, “may they always welcome friends and strangers into their home,” to “may they always welcome friends and strange animals into their home.”

I provide them with at least two drafts of the ceremony script that they can review and edit until I get it just the way they want it. I offer advice or suggestions based on my experience but in the end the ceremony is completely personalized and uniquely theirs. Then as the bride who reviewed me said, I stick with the script.

My hope is that this process helps calm the fears of the bride and groom so that they can, as much as possible, relax and fully enjoy and engage in their ceremony.

January Wedding with a Hawaiian Theme

Barb and Neal got married in their suburban home on one of the coldest days of the year but the atmosphere was warm inside. All of their guests received a beautiful and fresh Hawaiian lei as we walked in the door. We had been encouraged to wear summer clothing and many of us wore our favorite Hawaiian shirt or blouse. It was a stark contrast to step in from the cold weather outside and see a house full of people dressed in summer clothes and listening to Hawaiian music.

Barb and Neal had originally planned a destination wedding in Hawaii where they vacation every year but the realized that traveling that far would prohibit most of their friends from attend. So, they brought Hawaii to their home.

Their love and affection for each other was obvious through out the ceremony and as several friends and relatives made comments it was obvious that Neal and Barb were deeply loved by everyone there.

Once it was over it was back to the harsh realities of the Chicago winter but the wedding was a fantastic break.

Including Pets in Your Ceremony

Are you like me and in love with your pet(s)? Would you like to include them in your wedding? If so, don’t’ hesitate to find a way to include them.

At one wedding several years ago, the groom’s dog, a black lab was one of the best persons. He walked down the aisle with a bridesmaid and wore white cuffs around his front paws and a white collar around his neck. During the entire ceremony he behaved perfectly.

In another wedding the bride’s dog was the ring bearer. He also walked down the aisle with a cushion, containing the rings, strapped to his back. It was an outdoor wedding and it was hot in the sun but he also behaved perfectly.

Last year at a small intimate wedding at the Park Hyatt on Michigan Avenue and Chicago Avenue in downtown Chicago, two of the bride and groom’s dogs served as flower girl and ring bearer. They were well behaved too and seemed to enjoy the attention.

Our pets are an important part of our lives and including them in the ceremony makes a lot of sense. Ask you Officiant or Minister to help you think about an appropriate way to include your special friends, be creative, have fun.

Saturday Wedding at The Tower Club

On Saturday I conducted the wedding of Christine and Michael at the Tower Club which is located on the 39th floor of the Civic Opera building. It is a very nice, and I am told affordable, venue for weddings with about 125 guests.

The Tower Club is a great choice if you want everything you need in one place and lots of wonderful staff to help with every detail. It is also in a great neighborhood with dozens of restaurants, bars, shops and parking within a short walk from the front door.

If you think the Tower Club might be the place for your wedding visit their website The Tower Club or at 312 726-2410