Tender Moments

At the end of my second meeting with the couples I describe to them, based on what they have selected to include in the ceremony and other details that I have helped them make, how the ceremony will flow from the moment their guests start arriving until the end when they walk out as husband and wife. While I am walking them through the ceremony in this way, almost without exception both of them get very tender expressions on their faces and frequently one of both of them tear up. One bride in her own blog described it this way, “It was almost surreal to talk through the sequence of the ceremony. D and I had of course talked through all of this together as we wrote/crafted the ceremony but there was something different about it when your Officiant mentions that 'you will be emotional during the vows.' I almost started tearing up right there.”
I don’t know exactly what is going on in these moments but my hunch is that after months, sometimes more than a year of planning and dreaming about their perfect wedding ceremony when I describe it to them it comes alive. They feel in those moments the excitement, happiness and tenderness that they will feel even more fully on their wedding day.

One of the suggestions that I make to every couple is after they recess out from the ceremony they go to a room where they can be together for a few minutes before joining their guests. Some venues will provide champagne and food for just the bride and groom. I am not there in the room with them but I think that those moments together are also filled with a lot of tenderness. I learned recently that in the Ashkenazi Jewish Wedding ceremony this time alone is called the Yichud. The newly married couple publicly seclude themselves in a closed room for several minutes.

I would love to hear from other couples if you are planning a Yichud or if you have other comments about tender moments in your ceremony. You can post a response to this blog or contact me at botto@SpiritedWeddings.com or visit my website, www.SpiritedWeddings.com